Telemarketer: Hello, is this the Corporate Comm department? Can I speak to the person in charge please?
Me: Yes, it is. What’s this regarding please?
Telemarketer: It’s about Crisis Communication.
Me: Is this a conference or a training session?
Telemarketer: It’s about Crisis Communication. I need to speak to the person in charge before I speak to other departments.
Me: (puzzled) Well, you can speak to me.
Telemarketer: Ok, who am I speaking to please?
Me: (I tell her my name)
Telemarketer: Oh hi, I’m calling regarding Crisis Communication and we’d like to invite you to a….
Me: ..So this is a training session after all?
Telemarketer: Err, yes. We would like to invite you to a training.. held xx days in Singapore… (nonstop nattering for a good one minute without pause for breath — impressive)…can I know if you have ever attended something like this before?
Me: (by now, I am getting annoyed because she immediately launched into a pre-crafted marketing spiel which meant absolutely bollocks to me, plus I was in grave need of that second shot of caffeine, which left me, well, even more annoyed. So. Deep Longsuffering Breath.) Can I at least know who I’m speaking to please?
Telemarketer: …blablabla…(caught off guard) Oh. Yes. I’m Karen… (then launches right back into it without skipping a beat)
Me: (this time I give her only about three seconds) Karen, do you think you could email the programme to me so that I can pass it to the department that handles training?
Telemarketer: (brief silence) Oh. Sure, but can I know your designation? I need to send this to senior management only, I cannot simply send to anybody.
Sounds like Communication Crisis more than anything. Wish I could say that I put down the phone on Karen, but the nature of my job is such that I am required to grit my teeth and be nice even if, in reality, what I really want to do is poke her eyeballs out and give her a wedgie. Still, gotta give her credit for trying.